The Beautiful Boy
by 100BottlesOfTearsOnTheWall
Summary: Sirius Black looks in on you on the train. While you were changing. And that's the end of that, you think. But of course, not really. Because, being Sirius Black, once he sees a girl half naked, he has to know everything about her. Even things no one else knows.
1. Red and Black

Chapter 1

Get Over Yourself, Black

"Y/N, hurry up, I want to see Ja- get to the train," Lily sputtered and reddened slightly, pulling your arm hurriedly. You wince, feeling the forming bruise on your wrist from that very morning. "Lily slow down, it's not like you'll break up if you're not there early. That boy tried wooing you for five years, he's not giving up now."

Your best friend bites her bottom lip and lets go, still pushing the creaky metal cart fast. While she weaved her way through the crowd, you massaged your wrist, bumping into people and owl cages on the way. You didn't need a cart since you only had the small suit case and owl cage, small barn owl fluttering around contently. All gifts from Lily's family, since your mother was so… incompetent. Though the sapphire amulet around your neck was an anonymous present, slipped into your bag in the Second year, wrapped in _The Daily Prophet_ and Spellotape.

No one ever came forward to giving it to you.

As your mind wandered to how delighted you were that day to finding the beautiful stone, neither you nor Lily saw the shadow watching the pair.

In the train, you had released Lily to hunt for James, while you hunted for a compartment for both of you. Witches and wizards milled around you, chattering and brandishing new joke shop equipment. First years nervously jumped at anybody bumping against them, Second years confidently marching towards a compartment. Almost none alone.

Finally, the crowd squeezed you into an empty compartment. You instantly started changing, not wanting the dirty, shabby Muggle clothes on you. One of the only outfits you owned that didn't have gaping holes at the elbows or knees. The mothball sweater fell first, then the worn, white (but looking black because of all the dirt accumulated over the years) Convers. When you went to take off your shirt, an amused voice came from the doorway. The shirt fell over your shoulders again quickly, not wanting the person to see all the scratches and bruises on your stomach.

Sirius Black leaned on the wood, smirking in a satisfied way. "Black!" You exclaimed angrily, balling your hands to fists. He snakes inside, sitting as if he belonged, "L/N, nice bra," his smile widens.

"You're not supposed to _know_ it is a nice bra," though it wasn't, because it was a too tight faded red thing fastened with paper clips, "why the hell was your shaggy head looking into my compartment?"

"Well, L/M, I was looking for my girlfriend, and the door was unlocked so I looked in and saw her," he winks, hiding a blue-grey eye momentarily. You roll your own E/C eyes and sigh, "I'm not your girlfriend, Black. Get over yourself. Now leave so I can finish changing without another perverted boy peeking into at my bra," his smile drops from both face and eyes for a millisecond, but you don't notice. "Fine, Red, see you later," he gets up and blows you a kiss as he strides away.

You close the door again, locking it. _There._ Even faster than before, you get all clothes off you and the uniform on. The door jiggles as you finish fastening the robe, seeing fiery red hair through the foggy glass. Lily comes in, arms crossed over her chest. "Sirius came into the compartment when I was leaving. His face was a tad too happy for James' taste so he asked, 'Why the doggy smile, Padfoot,' and can you guess what he responded, F/N?

"What?" You groan, pinching the bridge of your nose. Lily smiles slightly, "'Just seen the most wonderful bra ,Prongs, belonging to a certain L/N."


	2. The Moon and the Star

Chapter 2

The Moon and the Star.

Rapidly, the sun starts settling behind the rolling hills, bathing the sky in beautiful purple, pink, and orange. You were looking outside, leaning your chin on your hand, nervously looking through the sky.

Lily happily bounced in her seat, smiling widely, "Y/N! Y/N! I'm going to be _Head Girl this year!_ Can you believe it?" She didn't wait for your answer, just keeps chattering away, but you've tuned out, thinking about different things.

_"Mum? Mummy, where are they taking me?" Your mother looked down at you grimly, pushing you into the grasp of the men in white, "Somewhere where they can fix you, girl," she answered, turning away. You cowered away from the men, whispering, "Mummy, please, please don't leave," the door was slamming and you screeched now, sprinting and banging on the oak, "MUMMY! MUMMY DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME!" The men ceased the back of your shirt, dragging you to the back of their truck. "MUMMY!" They restrain you into the wall, pulling a gag over your mouth, leaving you with tears streaming down your cheeks, screams trapped in your throat. You were nine._

The train stopped, jolting you conscious. Lily jumps up and pulls you upright arubtly, making you wince considerably. She notices and worries, "Y/N?" "I'm fine, Lil," you wave her away, starting out the door, "let's just go fine your sorry excuse for a boyfriend."

James was outside already, looking like a lost puppy every time somebody got out. When Lily did, his face was all smiles, pulling her for a kiss. You roll your eyes, smiling secretly, a sort of pang going through you of jealousy. No one would ever love you like that. Remus snapped his fingers sort of nervously, looking at the castle, "Okay then, lets go. We don't want to be late, Prongs," James pulled away, widening his hazel eyes slightly, remembering. Peter's squinty eyes widened as they could, also remembering and opening his mouth to confirm what it was when Sirius clamped a hand over his mouth.

You stare at Remus nodding and link your arm through his, squeezing tightly.

Naturally, since Lily hung out with James, you ended up bonding with at least one of the Marauders. You and Remus clicked immediately, loving books and writing, having the same fears. But weren't _together _together. Strictly like siblings.

As you walked together through the doors, Sirius watched you and his best friend together, a needle of the jealousy you had felt before stabbing through him.

Sitting, you start grabbing food as you sat, eating as fast as possible to get on with the night. Everybody did the same, stuffing roast and potatoes into their mouths. You finished first, not waiting for desert, and got up, striding out the doors. Of course you had to finish first, since no one but Remus knew about it. It was already velvety navy blue out, the moon hidden behind thick, dark clouds. The dewy grass under your feet crunched as you ran, through the gloom and into the Forbidden Forest.

As you did, three shadowy figures creeped along the edge of the trees, towards the secluded Willow in the field. You assumed Peter was already a rat, scurrying towards the knot to open the entrance. You assumed wrong.

But the moon was almost revealing itself, so this time you could only kick off your shoes and shrug off your cloak before the headache started, shriveling you down to the ground instantly. A whimper escaped you, low. Then the worse started to come, nails sharpening to claws, teeth doing the same to fangs. Hair sprouted over your hands and face. The worst came last, as always, spine bending longer and a screech expelled from your mouth this time, as loud as you dared. A loud russle behind spun you around, amber eyes darting.

A shaggy black dog stared back at you, startled. Words wouldn't form in your throat so you growled to ward it off, sure it was a pet of a students. _Missing Pet _posters would guilt you too much to see. But the fogginess was taking over your mind, the wolf coming out. A final whimper sounded and you were gone.

Sirius' POV

I had seen her leaving, she always left before us, because she ate fast. But this time I actually wanted to see what she did. I mean, I saw this girl half-naked, and not in a bad way. And... anyways I was curious.

So I lagged behind, trying to go unnoticed. And I did, since I followed her silently. When she started undressing I tensed, confused. And when she collapsed, it was clear what was happening. I was strangely fascinated in a way at it in a way I wasn't with Remus. But when she whimpered it panged me like earlier, except with a sense of… something unknown. And even though she was Turning, I could feel what I always felt when I had looked at her. What I had always felt when I look at any of my friends. Like I would die for them.

My daydreaming stopped when I stepped back and she whirled around, wild and scared. Her eyes were bright amber instead of their usual E/C. And she growled, clearly trying to scare me away as if I was a normal dog.

And then the wolf took over and I ran. She chased, unsurprisingly. I couldn't just lead her back to the Shack, but each time I tried shaking her off she picked up again. So I tried running faster, evading into the opening and turning back into a human, stumbling and slamming the rotting wooden door.

I was okay, backing up until somebody was behind me. The other werewolf on the block. And this time I couldn't change, panic taking over me. And the panic made me stupid. Stupid enough to open the door again and run, past Y/N and instead leading Remus to her. The two werewolves stared, tensed, a terrified stag and rat watching from behind. And then they howled, running back into the Forest.

James stomped towards me angrily, "What the hell happened? Who's the other one?" I play it off clumsily, "I have no bloody idea, Prongs, I was too busy running away." But I did know. And I was strangely happy.

Your POV

Blades of grass stabbed your back, itching painfully. You groan, holding your head in one hand. The sapphire stone sat cold on your chest. The sun was high on the horizon, white and bright. "No more until next month," you mutter and get up wobbly, leaning on a tree. Another groan sounded but not from you.

You looked and a few feet away from where you had lain was Remus, curled into himself and unfurling.

Hurriedly, you duck behind the slim tree and squeak, "What the hell?" His eyes flip open, looking around, "Wha-" the looking lands on you and he dives behind the tree nearest to him, blushing widely.

"How did I leave the Shack?" He mutters, mostly to himself.

You look around as he mutters, finding it familiar, "I've woken here before, lets go south and we'll make it to the castle," he nods and asks, "With what clothes?"

"These."

Both you and Remus look at Sirius skeptically. A bundle of clothes sits in his right hand and in the other a robe. The bundle sails towards Remus and the robe to you. "Black." You say it gravely, snatching and buckling the robe. "L/N," he says the same. Remus pulls on his trousers and walks away from the tree, buttoning the shirt.

"You saw her Turn didn't you? You weren't there when I did," You saw anger flash in Remus' eyes, knowing how intimate Turning is. Sirius shifted uncomfortably, looking down, "Well…" You step out from behind now, tucking the robe around you. The palm of your hand makes contact with his jaw with a _crack_, echoing. Both boy's faces are surprised, staring, Sirius holding the angry red mark on his cheek.

"Stay away, Black," you growl as you walk away, wiping away tears.


	3. The Push and the Pull

The Push and the Pull

Obviously, when someone sees you turn (uninvited mind you) you run. In this case you can't run, but you can hide.

After seeing you Turn, Sirius followed you doggedly (ha), looking for you everywhere, trying to corner you and talk. But you were smarter, slipping away easily or turning the corner just in time. This worked for two months. It was the night of Halloween, the 'Big Pumpkin' full moon was the strongest always pulling you to it faster than any other.

You had decided to skip the Halloween dinner(reluctantly since rumors spread of a skeleton juggling his own head) thinking that maybe it'll help you prepare better, and avoid Sirius better. Which didn't work.

The common room was empty, people whispering and bundling together to hurry for the feast. So you got up and shuffled out, looking around before walking through the corridor. Until a hand clamped over your mouth and pulled you into the shadows of one of Filch's closets.

You struggled, clawing at the hand until it let go, blocking the exit. You already knew who it was so you hissed, "Let me leave Black. Before I rip you to shreds."

It hurt your chest, admitting that you could do just that, in about an hour. But Sirius just smiled wearily, whispering, "_Lumos," _the low glow cast a ghoulish light in his handsome features. His eyes were startling in the gloom, but sad, remorseful.

"L/N, c'mon, we have to talk," you grit your teeth and turned away, fearing he could see the tears starting to form," Si- Black. There is nothing to talk about. You know now I'm a beast. I'm surprised you want to be in a confined space with me." He smirks, "I'm surprised you think I wouldn't."

_Why is he doing this, _you think_, why cant he just shun me and get it over with?_ The light moves to your face, making the shine in your eyes noticeable. Sirius' hand cupped your chin and pulled you eyes to level with his. But you tried to pull back, getting away and cowering into the corner. "Sirius," he seemed surprised to hear his first name expel from your lips, "please let me go."

He turned you again, limp in his arms, "Y/N, please, please, let us talk," his hair brushed your forehead, noses touching. You could smell him, like clean dog and warmth. "Please." All your senses could feel again, pulling you away and shaking your head, the tears pearling down your cheeks, "Black," you spit angrily, twisting your chest again, "don't ever touch me again. Ever. And if you do I _will_ tear you apart. Do you understand me?_ Tear you apart._" Quickly, you shoved passed, barreling through the door, tears wetting your face prominently.

The sky was still streaked with sunset, so you had time to sprint into the Forest, wiping the tears away, angrier than you had been before. At yourself. For lying to him, for spitting that at him, for pretending to hate him.

But you couldn't dwell. So you had to kick off your shoes and rip the tie off, unbuttoning the shirt clumsily and slipping the skirt off at the same time. Everything else went too, except the cloak, which you kept on because of the cold. The moon was just starting its process so you walked to your usual spot, squeezing stray tears out of your eyes.

Until the stray tears turned into sobs, sobs that pounded in your chest even after the headache that always crumpled you started. They were coming in waves, along with the pain, each more hurting then the last. Warm arms encircled your huddled figure, shaking almost as bad as you. Soft hair fell into your eyes and the smell of warmth and clean dog invaded your nostrils.

Sirius whispered one phrase over and over again as you morphed into the monster, even after you blacked out.

The morning was blinding, sun out, sky blue, owls hooting and birds chirping. Chilly air woke you up, raising goosebumps on your jut acquired flesh. You didn't get up, pulling yourself close. Something moved on top of you and black cloth fell in your eyes. A cloak had been draped over you, warming and covering you.

"F/N?" The voice startled you, making you sit up and wrap the cloak tighter around you. Sirius perched on the branch of a nearby tree, leaping off and landing gracefully. "S-Sirius? Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be with Remus by now?" He grinned lopsidingly, cupping the back of his neck with his hand, "Moony has Prongs and Wormtail. Who do you have?" Nobody, that's who. You wouldn't tell Lily since she would just stay in the forest with you, in the risk. And no one else was that much of a friend, more aquantience, so you stayed quiet, looking down.

His finger hooked one of the gray strands of hair behind your ear lovingly, palm on your cheek. "Y/N…" your noses were touching again, hair tickling in the same way, "please let me love you," your lips weren't quite touching, but close, and you curled closer to him, and crying silently. His arms embraced you, warm and secure. "Sirius…" You looked up at him, unknowing to something blissful to him in your eyes, wide and innocent like a deer's eyes. He groans and laughs slightly, "Those beautiful eyes of yours…"

Your lips touched, making a push and pull in your chest.


	4. Yes and No

Chapter 4

Yes and No.

_The sound of the slap rang across the room, loud and clear. The whimper afterwards wasn't quite as loud. "Shut up!" Your mother seethed, gritting her teeth, jabbing her finger into your small chest, "don't you __**ever**__ say that again, got it?!" It was a good day for your mother. Well it started that way. She actually made you breakfast instead of forcing you to make hers. She had taken you to the park for a little bit and brought you back, allowing you to use her dresses and shoes for dress-up. The long red dress of hers hung loosely of your thin shoulders, dragging behind you as you ran so your mother could see._

"_Mummy! Mummy look! I'm a princess!" Your mother looked down and stiffened slightly but smiled dryly, "Yes, of course, sweetheart. You're a princess." You smiled toothily, proud, "I'm a princess! And I'll have a prince one day, right?"_

_That's when she slapped you, hard, against the face and said it, "Shut up! You. Are. A. __**Monster.**__ Do you understand!? No one will __**ever**__ love you, you stupid creature! Because you are a fucking monster!" She ripped the dress over your head and grabbed your wrist painfully, dragging you across the carpet into your room, a bare place with a metal bed, and throws you in._

"_**Monster**__!" The door slams, leaving you shaking considerably, hiccupping and sobbing, staring at the door and out the window to the fading sky, with the silver circle of moon rising. You were six years old._

The memory quickly flooded into your head as your stomach push and pulled, as his lips whispered on yours. It was able to jolt you into reality, jolt you back and away from Sirius. He stared as you scrambled back, lust fading, "Y/N-" "N-no," you shot upwards, still backing away until you're against a tree, "leave me alone. I don't like you, okay?" Each word seemed to sting him, like knives stuck in his back.

"I hate you!" You tried twisting your face into anger, "Don't ever even _look_ at me again, okay?! I hate you! _Hate_ you!" You bundled the cloak around you and blew away, leaving him kneeling heartbroken on the ground. Before he could reach you, if he had gotten up, you pull on your clothes. No tears came because you were not sad. You weren't angry. You were hollow, cleaned out by the screams and shouts bouncing around your head.

The castle doors were open because breakfast was being served and it was a weekend so people roamed around the property, not paying any attention to you. You walked in quietly, peoples voices echoing off the high ceiling.

Lily was roaming the tables, looking around, and her eyes fall on you. "Y/N! Where have you been!? I've been looking for you all morning!" Remus, behind her eating, had darker circles under his eyes, looking at you wearily, knowingly. More grey streaks peppered his hair and you guessed it was the same for you. "It was nothing, Lil," you smiled sadly, "I'm okay." Remus looked like he wanted to talk to you later, so you nodded mutely and took a seat across from him, besides Lily.

You were chewing your toast mechanically, quietly, when Sirius walked in, hair tousled and tangled, clothes wrinkled. He sat heavily beside Remus. He didn't look at you and you didn't look at him. After a few minutes Remus got up and shifted his eyes down to you, walking out. You followed shortly after muttering goodbye to Lily.

Remus walked into the clearing, sitting in a rural area beneath a tree, a place where almost no one went, but you two always met. To talk about everything.

"Y/N, what happened?" You pour out everything, not skipping a detail, from when Sirius got you in the closet to when he kissed you in the Forest. When you finished Remus got quiet and you tucked your knees into your arms. "Well…" he said slowly and leaned on the trunk of the tree, "you really said that?" You nod slowly and burrow your head down into the hollow between your arm and legs, feeling tears start to threaten now, after repeating everything that had happened.

Remus sensed it and scooted closer, hugging you close. But not with the same warmness and protectivness of Sirius, of love. But of friendship and understanding.

"Look, Y/N, I know how this is," he started, looking down at you, "but he'll stop, okay? I know Padfoot, and he does this all the time. Obsesses with one girl for some time, gets her, and goes over to the next one." You nod, knowing it was true. Remus holds you until you sit up and lean your head on his shoulder, squeezing your eyes shut, "Why the hell does he have to do this?"

He shrugs, bumping your head up, "Because if you had that power you would too. If you weren't…" The two of you went quiet, unaware of the shadow behind the tree.

Sirius didn't avoid you, just didn't talk to you. Stared at you during class and left notes in your bag with random letters on them. But never directly spoke to you. And, with the obvious bad luck you have, it didn't last long, just like the last time. November twenty-first, a few days after your last turning.

Everyday, every night, you creeped down the stairs of the common room and drew the biggest highlight of your day in the most artistic way possible. Why? To remind you that good things actually happened. Pictures of meeting Remus, of succesing in a new spell, in a Quidditch game. Every night except the full moon nights, of course.

Tonight you did the same thing. You padded down the carpet, wearing a gauzy, thin white nightdress, sketchbook under your arm, pencil tucked into your ear.

You sat in the cushy chair nearest to the fire, leaning the paper on the arm. Your pencil tapped on the white canvas, thinking about the day when he cleared his throat, the shadow on the couch.

"Nice pajamas, L/N," Sirius drawled gravelly, sitting up. He was sprawled on the couch, cat-like ironically, wearing flannel. "Jesus!" you drop the pencil and the notebook, jumping up in the chair. He smirks, "No just me, sweetheart."

You glare at him annoyingly, "Yeah I know it's 'just you', Black. Why are you down here?" "Asking you the same thing," he bolts out of the chair and grabs the book, dangling it over your head before you can react, "but I guess I don't have to." "Stop!" You go for it but he puts his hand on your forehead, pushing you away, "Please!" He smiles mischiviously, "But I want to seeeee," he flips through it aweing at the pictures and drawing of Lily and Remus, of Beating the Bludgers and tap dancing pineapples. He goes quiet though when he sees the last drawing, staring.

A drawing of himself, laughing, head thrown back joyously. His eyes were slightly open, shaded grey, hair falling into them slightly.

He let you go, and you stumble back, cheeks flushing. "Sirius, give it back," you say quietly, brooding. But he doesn't listen just stares, melting silently. "Y/N…" he turns to you alternating in staring at the drawing and staring at you.

"Give it back, Black," you say louder, angrier. "What is this sketchbook for?" Obviously drawing, but you knew what he meant. All the drawings met something, and he knew. But you chose to ignore like he did and repeat, "Give. It. Back."

"Tell. Me."

"Sirius-"

"Y/N, please."

You cross your arms and say quietly, "All the best things that have happened to me."

He went somber, just staring at the drawing again and brushing his fingers over the paper. You look down at your bare toes and spin on your heel to go upstairs, whispering, "Give it to me tomorrow, Black." A hand steels on your shoulder and whirls you around, making you stare into his smoldering grey-blue eyes, flaming up with different emotions.

"Don't ever call me that. _Ever_ again." And his lips are on yours, hot and hard, so unlike in the woods. The force takes you by surprise and makes you stumble, pushing on him so that you both fall to the carpet. He smiles and kisses you harder, pushing you closer to him. And it felt so good, being able to let someone touch you that wasn't Lily or Remus. You could feel his hands through the dress, circling around your back.

You didn't protest, tangling your fingers into his hair, tangling your legs into his. Your mouth had been open from the start, but now is when you started exploring his mouth as he did with yours.

But something, the something that always came, pulled you away reluctantly. "Sirius… Why do you like me? Why… why if you know what I am?" He shook his head, smiling, "You don't get it yet. Y/N, I don't like you," what Remus said flew through your mind and you started getting up when Sirius grabbed your wrist and pulled you down again, nose to nose, "Y/N, I don't like you," his lips are now whispering against your again, barely touching, "I love you."

The sincereity in his voice moved you and you smiled, cupping his cheek, "Truly, Sirius?" His hand held yours there, "Truly."

You pull him up and kiss him very slowly, and pull away fast, picking up your sketchbook and pencil. "Can you meet me tomorrow in the Forest?" He looks at you lopsidingly, grinning, "Okay." 


	5. HELLO!

**Oh my God! I have people reading my stuff! Thank you all dudes and dudettes! Like a lot… But anyways I'm going to improve the quality of my stories in separation of time frames and shicst so like, ya. Thanks ma little Peeps (Marshmellow) and expect PLOT TWIST MUAHAHAHA! ****I shall be worse than Rick Riordan.**


	6. The Broken and the Shattered

Chapter 5

The Broken and the Shattered.

The next morning everybody had left the dorm when you woke up, a shaft of light hitting your face so that dust particle were visible. You hadn't forgotten what happened last night, you had dreamed of it. Of him whispering, 'I love you', just as he had the night you turned, over and over in your ear.

"Good morning." You tell to no one in particular, smiling softly. You get up and peel off the nightdress, putting on the uniform and clasping the cloak around you. The sapphire amulet bumped on your chest as you glided down the stairs, twirling a grey streak happily.

Sirius sat as he had sat last night, sprawled on the couch, fully uniformed. He saw you as you came down, sitting up quickly and smiling brightly, "Good morning, sunshine." You laugh, clear as a bell, "I am anything but sunshine, sweetie," he gets up, stretching his long legs and putting an arm around your shoulders. His lips kiss your ear and he whispers, "I still love you."

"Me too," you whispered back and kissed his cheeks on your tip toes. He grins warmly and leads you protectively to the Great Hall, through the giant doors and to the Gryffindor table. Everyone is already there, Lily's head leaning on James' shoulder, Peter giddily talking to Remus and Remus politely listening.

Remus stared at Sirius' arm around you as you sat down next to him. He looked into Sirius' eyes as he looked at you, still grinning warmly and happily talking to James. Remus smiles lopsidedly and nods approvingly, going back to Peter.

Lily rose an eyebrow at the arm as well and gasped slightly when she clicked, "Are you two dating?! _Is my best friend dating someone and I didn't bloody know?!"_

Sirius laughed and smirked, "Yes, I am unpurifying your angel of a friend, Evans." "But," you add, nodding pointedly, "he is my first so I'll know everything if I ever need another." Sirius shakes his head, "I swear you will not."

"I would hope, Padfoot," James began, "that you don't or else she'll get mad at all of us and then Evans will have to break up with me because of this 'girl code' I've heard of."

Now Lily perked up, "And from who have you heard this from, eh, Potter?"

Everybody laughed, out of pure gayness that everything was perfect for one second. You leaned into Sirius, folding your fingers into his. He kissed your hair, smiling into it, "So what was that about meeting you in the Forest last night?" he mutters, smirking now. "Later, sweetie."

The day passed oh too so slow. Sirius sneaked kisses and winks every time a class passed, throwing notes at you in the shape of paper airplanes. Until finally the final class ended, Potions, leaving kids with singe tipped hair and blackened robes to mill out. Sirius was not among them but cut through from his class, scooping you up in his arms. You shrieked with joy and curled your arms around his neck, kissing him soft and sweet for a second as he walked out of the crowd. Girls swooned, awed or jealous that the weird girl with the grey streaked hair got the hottest boy in school.

You burrow your face into his neck as he twirled you to the Forest, putting you down to run with his hand in yours. "Y/N?" you had finally stopped, sitting in the clearing where you always sat to draw in the free afternoons. He sat across from you, rubbing one of your hands between both of his.

"This is my special place… where I can clear my head and… survive the world…" you press your forehead to his and he stares into your eyes, contently. "Sirius," you cup his cheek like you had before, pulling him closer, "I love you. So much." He laughs, sending vibrations through you, "Me too."

The kiss starts just like that, soft and simple, warm and tender. Your fingers hovered over the buttons of his shirt, itching to get them out of the way. His own did the same with yours. And one word whispered from your lips ended the suspense, "Yes."

His fingers skillfully removed your shirt, dropping to the soft grass. You clumsily removed his shirt, slower than he did it, taking off the tie. You removed your own cloak and dropped it to the ground, pulling him on you. He moved his lips down your throat, to your collarbone, kissing and moving on it. Your hips bucked on his, making him smile and move farther down, noticing the amulet, "Do you know who gave this to you?" he murmured into your skin, tickling slightly, "No clue, sweetie."

He looked up at you, smiling, "I actually did, dearie. Second year, the grey had just started in your hair," he pulled a lock playfully, "you left your bag in the common room, and I had been planning on giving you the necklace for a long time. It had come with a legend about a girl. But anyways, I saw my chance, and wrapped it quickly, before you came back, and hid it. Your face when you found it is tattooed into my brain, Y/N. Absolutely beautiful. And it still is." He lays his mouth on your stomach again, kissing it sweetly and you play with his hair, laughing softly.

His fingers played with the zipper on the skirt, sliding it up and down. "Go ahead, sweetie, we're already this far." You curled his hair between your fingers, the zipper making a final sound as the skirt slipped off. Your shoes scattered to the skirt, followed my Sirius'. "Now yours has to go," you brushed the rim of his pants, "Well, I guess next time I should wear my own skirt but-" you slap his arm lightly, "Sirius Black, I will not be half naked in front of you again if you're not half naked too."

So the pants go next.

You were wearing the same red bra from the other day and Sirius finally notices, chuckling, "Red." "Black."

"Am I allowed to kiss you now?" You pull him down, kissing him for a long time and pulling away, "you know the answer, Black." This time it was not soft and steady, it was hard and drived, hot and beautiful. Red comes off, followed your White and his Gold and Scarlet.

His cloak is over you, like a makeshift bed. "I am a virgin, Sirius Black, so you better not include any of the following right now: spells, wand, motorcycle-" He groans mockingly and complains, "But I just got this great cycle that I charmed to fly and-" "No, no, no."

But he is gentle, kissing you softly now and pressing you close, roaming his hands all around you. And when you flinch, when you moan, or bite down on his bottom lip, he just squeezes you ever closer, whispering and laughing softly.

/

"Tell me about yourself, Sirius," the sky is well dark now, fireflies roaming the night. You stare at each other, on your sides, sweat sheening on both your faces. He smiles grimly, brushing hair of your face and straightening.

"I have a broken life I guess, dearie. Born into a pureblood line, Slytherin," he laughs softly, "so when I got Gryffindor I was sort of shunned to make room for my 'perfect' Death Eater brother. They were so proud the say he came, showing of the burn on his arm. But I wasn't. So I ran away, to a place where I would be noticed. James' house, where the Potter's took me in. Like a real family. We're like brothers, us two…" he shrugs, nothing much to it, dearie. How about yours?" he bumps his hip to yours, "Your life?"

You laugh softly and flick his waist, running your fingers lightly there. "Not much of a life, more a prison…" He kisses the top of that hand lightly and whispers, "Please?" His eyes and his voice and _just _him make you budge, "Well… if you say you had a broken life… I guess I had a shattered one."

_You were born on the coldest, most frigid time of the year. Christmas. While everyone else celebrated with crackers and cake, your mother gave birth to you. You cried for only a few minutes before stopping, sleeping soundly. Now, your father had been killed just a few months before you were born. No one knows how, just dropped dead, eyes staring wide open. Your father had been the one with wizard blood, a Squib. So when you started blowing bubbled out of your fingers and floating whenever you fell, your mother… did not take it well._

_She hadn't known about your father's family, so she screamed and proclaimed you a demon child. But she couldn't tell this to people since you were still her child. But one full moon, when you were three, it happened. A mad wolf barreled into your house and your mother pushed you into its way, hoping it would put her out of her misery. But it just increased the misery, slashing your tiny stomach with its claw and running away. _

Sirius ran his fingers over the white line on your now bigger, slimmer stomach, kissing it lightly. "Continue."

_The first time you turned, your mother tried to kill you, taking the shotgun off the wall and aiming, yet missing. It got a little off your ear _(which Sirius kissed too), _a silver bullet. The next times she just locked you in your room, letting you scratch and bite the walls off, waking up terrified and shivering. She beat you whenever you woke up, claiming you a disgrace, sometimes even stabbing at you._

_Your magic grew and the Turnings turned worse, hurting even more, getting wilder. And your mother finally had to get rid of you. She called the local asylum, telling them to come and pick you up. You didn't love her, but she was still your mother, so you screamed and cried for her._

_The men probed and prodded at you, electrifying you for tests and leaving you in the padded cell. You kept yourself in check for the next two years. And there, on June fourteenth, your Hogwarts letter came. Tucked between the pads so that you could break it open. Dumbledore made it to the asylum, requesting that you were left out September to May. For therapy reasons. And they did not object, gladly taking the screaming girl of the full moon away. _

_Hogwarts was out of a dream, accesing the vault of your families money, buying the wand and cloaks in the magical Diagon Alley. Hagrid, seeing what you were, bought you the sketchbook, and a magic pencil that spurted out any color you wanted._

_You walked through the giant doors, sat on the stool, and went to the Gryffindor table, sitting shyly next to the equally as shy Lily. But you two clicked and were talking and chattering away instantly. Out of the corner of your eye, Remus, only one streak of grey in his hair like yours, stared at you, at the streaks and the sunken cheeks and raccoon eyes._

_He asked you quietly about it later the night, twiddling his fingers. It brought tears to your eyes, of happiness that somebody understood, throwing your arms around him and nodding frantically._

_Sirius had glared at him and Remus politely left, grinning like a madman. The pair of you met every full moon beneath the tree before you actually turned, silently crying, or just nervously talking._

_It always got worse, Turning, waking you up with nightmare, sobs racking your body at times._

_You had started actually liking Sirius in the third year, shyly staring down whenever he looked at you and smiled. You'd never known he liked you until this year, finally, but at the same time it was bad. Because when you knew someone was a werewolf, and you love that person you are instantly at risk, of going to help and ending up dead or worse._

_You are secretly insecure about everything, your hair, you entire body covered in bruises and scars, old and new. Your life. _

You finished, shutting your eyes tightly, all those bad memories shooting through your head, one at a time. Sirius stayed quiet, sadly cupping your cheek. "Y/M…" He kisses all the scars, everywhere, your arms, you stomach, your face and legs, leaving you tingling. You curled you legs around his waist and kissed him lingeringly, letting go of all your sorrows and sadness through him. He pressed you close and whispered, "I will never let it happen again." And you stayed there, together, until morning.


	7. Beauty and the Beast

**Well. This is where things get interesting.**

"Good morning." This time the words don't come out of your mouth, but out of Sirius', making you blink your eyes sleepily. You had fallen asleep last night, just as the sun came up. His eyes were gleaming and a wave of happiness passed over you, remembering everything of yesterday, pouring out your heart to him, and him doing the same. And everything else of course.

"Great morning, more like," you breath and snuggle closer to him, tucking the cloak around you. He hugs you and lays his chin on the top of your head. The sun is not directly over your heads, but it signals that it is already P.M. "We missed lots of classes, I presume," you mutter and look up at him expectingly. He nods and smooths your down, smiling lopsidingly, "Yes, but you looked so peaceful…"

"I never said I was mad about it."

"So are you going to leave then?"

"No. We'll go later."

Everything was still for an hour, just staring at each other, or whispering, or kissing for a tiny bit, softly and sweetly.

You smile finally and start getting up, "We have to go." He groans and flops back, shaking his head and slurring, "I don't wannaaaaa." "Well you'll have to." You say firmly and grab your underwear, slipping it on. He now looks, propping himself up on his elbow, smirking, "Very nice."

You roll your eyes, grinning, while clipping the bra back on. He is drinking everything in, you curves and your bare skin, your disheveled hair. The shirt is buttoned next, then the skirt. He gets up now, rolling upwards and quickly pulling everything on. Your both ready under three minutes, cloaks incredibly wrinkled and dirty, but ready.

Sirius smiles, almost shyly, and takes your hand, pulling you out of the woods. Nobody is out there, except Hagrid who is not paying attention, taking care of the herd of hippogriffs of the Forest. So you run, up the stairs, into the Gryffindor common room after saying the password('Starger'). You dart up the stairs and pull on clean clothes, brushing your hair until it was smooth. You pull on the sapphire jewel as you walk into the room, sitting on the couch. Even though you hadn't eaten breakfast, you weren't hungry.

He walked down afterwards, sitting next to you and putting a long arm across the back. "Sirius, can you tell me the story of the amulet you were telling me about?" Sirius thought for a second and looked you in the eye,

"Once there was a girl. She was the most beautiful girl in the village, simple and kind. But she was never allowed to leave home, because her mother and father believed that everybody would fall in love with her and burn down their house to wed her," you giggle a bit, "and take her away. The girl was beat daily to tray and undermine her beauty, to make the bruises and cuts show in hope that she would be ugly. But each day, she got back up, more beautiful and radiant then the last and withstanded the beatings. That amulet was doing the job, cleaning her every night as she slept, so that the girl was stronger every morning. The amulet was given to her by a beast that lived in a cave, far off. She had found him and helped him regain himself, to which he rewarded her. That was before she was locked up, of course. Her parents found out about the amulet and ripped it off, smashing it into millions of pieces. They beat her again and this time the scars stayed, ugly and prominent on her delicate features. After a month of this she was let out, deemed 'ugly' in their words. But she kept her head held high, and everybody who had once dreamed of marrying her turned away. Except one. The beast. He had been a boy once, transformed by a jealous dark wizard, and left until someone would love him. And the girl did. She had loved him as the beast for being so kind. And he saw her, walking so sadly down the path and ran out of his cave, happy to be able to show her. And she instantly knew it was him, because of his eyes, because of the kindness in them. So, pretty forward but I think I would've, he kissed her and all the scars and bruises went away, and the girl was practically glowing. Her parents were burned for the years of child abuse, ironically, and they lived together for the rest of their lives, happy."

You were staring at the sapphire, rubbing your thumb over it as his lulling voice told the story. The swirls of darker blue, the pinpricks of lighter. He stopped and you didn't notice, just kept rubbing at it, as if it could show you something.

He nuzzled into the crook of your neck and you giggled, pushing him lightly. Then footsteps pounded outside and you looked over your shoulder, at the stream of people now screaming into the common room, laughing and shoving.

Lily stomped towards you and grabbed your arm, lightly but firmly. "Where have you been young lady?! It is lunch time and I have been looking for you!" She glared at Sirius, "You! Black! What have you done to my friend?" He smiled bashfully and responded, "Nothing," then he added, "good." You laughed as Lily looked ready to charge, but James held her back, winking at his friend and nodding at you. Remus skeptically jogged in, followed by Peter of course, glaring at Sirius, "What did you do?" Sirius put his palms up, "Oi, why is everybody blaming me?!" James opened his mouth but a hush fell over everybody in the common room as Professor McGonagell walked in, looking directly at you.

"Miss. L/N, please follow me." You didn't protest, shooting a look at all of the boggled people so that they continued talking. McGonagell led you towards her office, locking the door behind. "Miss. L/N. Please sit down. We have something to discuss." You did, fidgeting with the necklace nervously. McGonagell pulled a box out from a drawer and curtly started, "I understand that only a few days ago it was the full moon," you flinched, "I also understand that you've had a harder time with the transformation then our other werewolf, Remus Lupin. And today you missed an entire day, which I will believe is because of the moon. You miss many a class, but now I must try and help you.

"Now, this is one of three that I have in my possession. So please be catious." She opens the box and pulls out a gold chain, from which is connected a miniature hourglass, surrounded by gold hoops.

She put it in your hand and you stared. "What is this, Professor?" "It is called a Time Turner. It gives you the ability to go back in time to be able to go to your separate classes that you miss. You may start using it tomorrow. Give the sides a click for it to work." The Professor motioned for them and stood up, you doing the same while putting on the Turner.

"You my tell your friends, Y/N, but do not let them use it." She led you out and closed the door with a small click. James pops out from the corner of the next hallway, "She's out!" Everybody walks to you, Lily faster than the rest, but Sirius notices the Time Turner laying beside the amulet, "What is that?"

You quickly explain what McGonagell had said, letting them all think about it for a moment. Sirius touches it lightly and cocks his head to the side, "Why cant we use it? I mean, this could make pranking so much easier! Pranking people five at a time at _the same time?_ No one'll know it's even us!" James started warming up to the idea, suggesting different things and Remus grinned while Peter kept repeating, "Yeah! Y-yeah that's great!" giddily. They kept ranting, making exaggerated hand gestures. You sigh and take off the necklace, dangling it between them, "Can everybody just bloody shut it!?"

"Look, you blokes can't use it because I am trying to not get in trouble right now, okay, and-" Peter suddenly grabs the Turner and says, "Lets do it! C'mon!" You are shocked enough for a second to see him take out his wand, "We could try and go anywhere! To set up other ones!"

Everybody snaps back at the same time, grabbing Peter as his wand sets off the Turner and it clicks.

**INTERVENTIONINTERVENTIONINTERVENTION**

Groans sound around you and you groan yourself, rubbing your head. "What the hell? When are we?" Somebody sits up next to you in the newfound darkness.

"Y/N? James? Remus?" Sirius says.

"Here."

"Here."

"Here."

"Uhg, here." Lily groans, allowing James to find her and hug her close. Remus finds Peter and Sirius finds you, squeezing your hand. "Why is it so dark? And," Sirius sniffs the air, "smell so familiar?" James sniffs too, ear perking up, "The broom closet! We're in the broom closet!" He reaches for the doorknob and you all tumble out, the light hitting your face. Nobody walked the halls, they were empty and bleak, dark. "Where is everybody?" You mutter and stand up, brushing off your uniform.

Sirius gets up too, raising an eyebrow and looking around. Lily gets pulled up by James just as the green light explodes outside. You jump back, shrieking. Footsteps are pounding, frantic and fast, and you all turn, crashing into other students running in the halls. The leader of them rubs his forehead, muttering sorry and getting up, holding out a hand to help. He was wearing Muggle clothes for some reason, and the girl and other boy behind him too. Then the boy freezes and stumbles back when he sees them through his round glasses, mouth gaping.

"Harry?" The girl asks, turning her head to him, "What's wrong?"

The other boy with hair almost as flaming red as Lily's doesn't say anything, gaping as bad as Harry, turning the girl's head.

Remus steps up, "Yeah, um, hello… What day is it? What _year_ is it?"

The girl widens her eyes and whispers, "M-May second nineteen eighty-eight." Sirius' eyes widen and he slams his palm on his forehead, "Shit."


	8. The Living and the Dead

**Hello! Again! So far I've… very much plot twists are coming. Be impressed, 'kay? Just don't get hooked on to any concepts. And for me, the concept of time for the Turner is the same as the concept of Doctor Who, for those of you who don't know, most people think that time is a straight line of cause and affect, but actually it's a big ball of wibbly wobbly… time wimey… stuff. So, if James and/or Lily dies in that era, Harry would still be alive, get it?**

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><p>Harry regains his composure and, not even noticing what he was doing, he throws his arms around Lily and James. They both stare at him as he pulls away and Lily gasps, actually looking him straight in the face. "James-" And James Potter realizes, staring at Harry, that he's staring at his son, with Lily's green eyes, and his messy jet black hair. "Are you... are you our son?" Harry nods mutely, eyes shining. "Prongs, do we leave you alone?" Sirius asks and James nods.<p>

Everybody herds themselves to the Room of Requirement, opening it to a meeting room. Hermione clears her throat after sitting, "For the record, we know the three of you," she motions to Sirius, Remus, and Peter then looks at you, "but not you, sorry."

You leaned back shaking your head, "I am actually suprisingly okay with that." But Sirius shook his head, leaning forward, "How do you not know her? I-" he stopped and thought for a moment before shaking his head, "Never mind. What is happening with us? In this time?" Ron explained to Remus while Hermione explained to Sirius, Peter told to listen in because his story was shorter. You gasped when you heard Sirius had been in Azkaban and stared at Peter when told why. Both you and Remus tensed when she said that she knew about him being a werewolf.

You had raised your hand shyly and muttered that you were too, earning a surprised and proud look from Remus and Hermione both. Ron shrugged and pointed to your hair, "That explains that."

When they were done explaining, Peter had run out, avoiding Sirius' glare and Remus sorrowful stare. The Time Turner was left behind so you snatched it so check and groaned. It was melted down, the sand inside turned to glass.

"We aren't leaving any time soon." You throw the Time Turner on the table. Hermione looks at it and her eyes brighten but then darken, "Umbridge had all the remaining Turners destroyed…" she whispered flatly. Sirius rose an eyebrow, "Who's Umbridge?" "A frog. And our Headmaster while Dumbledore is Wanted because the DA was found out." "DA?"

Ron explained, keeping with comments like, 'the stupid hag' and 'would've hexed her.' Sirius nodded approvingly and you and Remus rolled your eyes at the same time, exchanging a look.

Hermione exchanged the look with you, like she had always done it. James, Lily, and Harry came in, closely knit together, and sitting as three extra chairs appeared. Harry's cheeks were flushed with happiness and James and Lily kept staring at each other.

"Well isn't someone happy, Prongs." Sirius laughed when they finally disconnected their eyes and James cocked his head to the side, "Who me?"

"Yes you," Remus smiled. Lily giggled and leaned her head on James' shoulder, playing with Harry's hair. You grinned warmly, seeing them like a happy family and thinking how Hermione, Ron, and Harry didn't know who she was. And what that could've meant.

Something behind Harry's eyes clicked and he shot straight up, jumping on his toes, "Ron, Hermione, what was it that we were doing when we bumped into everybody?" His teeth were gritted and all Hermione's eyes widened, "Oh God, Harry we have to go." Ron was already pulling open the door, "Um, you guy'll have to stay here for… a bit." Harry reluctantly left, glancing back at Lily and James.

"Like hell we're letting them go, right?" Sirius said after five seconds of silence. Like a machine, you all move at once creeping out the door and following them out into the Forest. "Where's Peter?" James whispered as they did and Sirius stiffened, letting Remus answer, "He was a coward."

The trio in front of them met up with another trio, a girl with the same ginger hair as Ron, another pale girl with long blonde hair, and a boy with light brown hair. Skeleton black horses walked out into the clearing, majestic yet dark at the same time. Remus, and James sucked in their breath with you, but Sirius and Lily stayed quiet. They couldn't see.

"What are they on?" Lily whispered as they mounted, and guessed it must've looked like they were on thin air. "Thestrals," you say, "you can only see them if you've experienced death." Whose death you experienced you didn't know.

When they left you quickly lured more Thestrals and helped Sirius and Lily to mount them, flying away after two minutes.

You followed them silently, until they were outside the Ministry of Magic catacombs. Hermione unlocked the door and slinked inside, everybody else shadowing behind her, including yourselves.

Everything was okay up to the point where Lucius showed up. You were hiding behind a fallen bookcase. Ron was teetering off the side after the brain with tentacles attacked him, muttering about planets when the pale, pointed man appeared in a billow of black smoke. "Hello, Mr. Potter." He sneered and snapped his dingers, more billows of smoke forming Death Eaters. When Bellatrix appeared, holding the brunette boy, Sirius stiffened next to you, so you squeezes his hand reassuringly, feeling him relax.

"Little, bitty Longbottom!" She giggled, "I remember your parents, their screams," she put her wand to his throat, "should I make him scream, baby orphan Potter?" James grit his teeth together but Remus shushed him and kept watching. Harry held the prophecy shakily, close to his chest. "Give it to me, Potter, and your friends are free." Emotions danced on Harry's face and the ball loosened in his grasp. "Swear."

James had a mixture of proudness and anger in his face, his wand suddenly in his hand. Harry inched forward, about to hand it over when a plume of white flew through the roof, materializing into a smirking man. "Well, Poodle, at least invite me before you try to kill my godson." And then Sirius punched Lucius square in the jaw. Sirius next to you jumped into the battle just as more white plumes flew in, instantly engaged in battle. All of you followed in suit, shooting hexes and jinxes to the surprise of everybody around you.

Sirius started firing counter curses at Bellatrix, Harry on his back. "Just like old times, James!" He laughed just as the green jet of light hit him square in the chest.

His eyes landed on the group yours just as he fell, widening, the ghost of the smile still there.

Sirius next to you choked some how and stumbled back, a bookcase crashing down. Both Remus' grabbed Harry to prevent him from running to the veil, his screams ringing and bouncing through the battle.

You fell on your knees and tried going back, away from Bellatrix, who was smiling and laughing triumphantly, skipping and singing, "I killed Sirius Black, I killed Sirius Black!" Tears stained your cheeks in a blink of an eye, sobs not allowing you to breathe, shaking you. James was staring, not listening to Lily who was pulling on his arm.

Arms curled around your waist, pulling you upright and you held on, to believe he was actually there and not through the veil.

Harry pulled away from both Remus's and ran after Bellatrix, wand extended. Lupin stares at himself, eyes wide, gaping. The he sees Sirius and you and finally James and Lily, taking a step back.

A yell reaches everybody's ears and James and Lily are sprinting down the hall, through the darkness, towards Harry. Lupin kept staring, now at you. "Y/N…" he breathed and there was grief in his eyes. "Remus?" You whisper, "Remus, what happened?" But Remus inturrupts, "We can talk later, we have to go see what's happening," he runs past, to the corridor. You pull Sirius along, still stunned.

Harry is writhing on the ground, whispering surrounding the room, Voldemort standing over him. Lily is restrained by James behind a pillar, gagged by his hand. "Harry," You whisper and hide with them. Harry shouts and tries getting up, knocked down again. Until the fireplace blazes up green, Dumbledore stepping out, shooting a spell at Voldemort, who deflected it. "Albus Dumbledore." Voldemort wheezed and Dumbledore boomed, "Get away from him, Tom. Your battle is with me now."

The battle commences, Dumbledore winning by a long shot when Fudge appears, seeing the Apparated Voldemort. You lean out to get a better look when a cold hand clamps on your shoulder and you're whirling away from the world, above it all.

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><p><strong>WHAT HAPPENED?! WHERE DID YOU GO!? THE SUSPENSSSSEEEE. I almost cried writing Sirius' death... I have much feels. Please comment!<strong>


	9. The Missing and the Found

**HEY GUYS! I posted a bunch of chapters because I knew I would be gone for a few. My parents are divorced and I've got the computer at my dad's house; BUT for the next two weeks I am here so, expect much more chapters. Please comment!**

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><p><em>Three Months Later…<em>

Sirius paced through Grimlaud Place, up the creaky stairs and floor, around couches, and finally into his room, storing Buckbeak the hippogriff. He had brought some comfort. The creature remembered the older Sirius, but he knew, he sensed the connection and established the same relationship. Obviously, Sirius didn't want to melt down in front of the others, who would try to console him.

Buckbeak just watched carefully, curled up on the floor as Sirius sobbed, curled up himself, or just silently cried as he tried to sleep. Or when he locked the door, putting a quick Silencing charm on it, and shouted and yelled, throwing anything that could break, anything that made a satisfying crack, blaming himself for what happened.

And when the dust settled, Buckbeak would get up and brush his feathery head on Sirius' arm, as if telling him to finally calm down. Then it would bow and lie down again, closing his eyes to sleep.

It somehow did comfort Sirius, that someone was there, but not stopping him from doing it. And he knew what had happened to the other Sirius, oh he knew. But he also knew what had happened to you.

This went on for the next three months, Sirius locked in his room, only coming out to eat. Almost all the members of the Order tried to coax him out of his stupor, Mrs. Weasley ranting about how lovely the days were outside, both Remus's trying to explain to him that they were looking for her, James making jokes that he smelled worse than a Dungbomb, even the Twins, Ron, and Harry banged at his door to play Quidditch matches (obviously forced my Mrs. Weasley because Harry was too depressed to do otherwise). Lily, Hermione, and Ginny finally told everybody to back off after the second month. To add on for reasons of him not leaving, he looked different than his older self, but not by much, and he was dead.

The only person (rarely) he let in once was Harry, because he himself was also heartbroken. Harry quietly explained everything that the Sirius he had known had said before he died, how they would be a proper family afterwards. Now he had his parents, but he still wanted Sirius, who was like a father, to be back. Sirius stared at this guy, the same age as him, talking about that and said, "Maybe. In some mad way, we can all be a family."

Harry had smiled and stepped out, calling to Ron.

And Sirius went back to his major sulking.

Until Kingsley Shacklebolt blew into the kitchen at dinner one day. He had come in with a quick urgency, but still carrying himself regally. His deep voice projected through the small room, "We've found some of the captured." A chair slammed on the ground, just as Sirius stood up out of it. "Was-" Kingsley cut him off, "Y/N was found among them, yes."

Sirius sprinted up the stairs and came down with his wand(and slightly less rumpled), almost out the door. Lily was already there leaning against the frame. Remus at the door, knob in his hand. "Is everybody faster than me somehow?" Remus smirked a bit, "Of course we are, you wasted point five seconds getting primped up."

Sirius scowled at his friend and impatiently started with the door. Lily shoved past him and Apparated instantly, where he didn't know. "Remus did Kingsley say-" "Mungo's." And left. Sirius followed in suit, seeing everybody else getting up to do the same as the world swirled away.

The witch behind the counter directed them without looking up, to the seventh floor, reserved for prisoners. They all went up, nervously huddled together, James catching up. The room was filled with sleeping or weak people, eyes open against the harsh lights of the hospital.

Remus saw you first, but Lily shrieked first, James reacted first, and Sirius strided over first. You were both a punch in the stomach and a twist to the heart. Your cheeks were sunken in like your eyes, almost black with bags. Even more grey streaks adorned your hair, which was tangled. A scar traced your cheek. The thick blanket showed your thinness, arms layed over your stomach.

But your eyes were open, staring off in the opposite direction forlornly.

"Y/N?" Lily whispered happily. You whipped around, wincing a bit, but beamed, "You came!" Your voice was clear but raspy, from, it seems, screaming.

James laughed, "No shit we came!" Remus smiled and said, "Well, we came, but this one," he motioned to Sirius, "practically crashed in here. I mean he was a total-" Sirius punched his arm and Remus laughed. Lily had gone to work on your hair, combing it out with her fingers. And Sirius, after flushing just stared, as if you were the only thing worth looking at. Lily finished and saw that, his leveled gaze and held back a grin. "Remus, James, let's give these two some privacy," she shooed them away and closed the thick aqua curtains, winking.

Sirius immediately kneeled next to the bed and shook, sobbing. "I-I'm so sorry. It was all my fault, Y/N, all-" You ran you fingers through his hair, loving the feeling again, taking his face in your hands so that his tear stained eyes looked into yours. "Sirius Black, this was not your fault. None of this your fault, okay? Please stop. I have something to tell you." The last thing you said was hushed. He stopped as he started, still shaking, but holding on to one hand clutching his cheek.

He stared at you, and it melted into a loving lust, his voice was serious, "What is it?" You smile wearily, tears shining your eyes over. You were still moved in such a way that he couldn't see anything beneath the blanket. So, slowly, you turned on your back, closing your eyes and wincing.

"Are you-" "I'm fine," you even slower pull away the blanket. It's noticible. If your weren't so gaunt, it almost wouldn't have been there. But it's there. And he sees to, gasping a bit. "Is it… is it…" You keep your eyes closed and nod, "If you don't want to… you don't have to… I'll be okay."

But Sirius is laughing slightly, kissing the back of your hand, "Y/N, I will not abandon you. Not after three months without you. I love you." Everything was hushed and a tear slipped out of your right eye, trailing down your nose. His hand slipped over the bump on your stomach, your child. Because you were pregnant.

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><p><strong>YAY BABIES! But don't get to attached... oops =D.<strong>


	10. The Lost and the Found

The hospital let you out earlier than the rest of the prisoners, who had the Cruciatus curse used on them, and surprisingly not on you. Lily knew about the bump of course. You didn't even need to tell her. She barged in after James pulled Sirius away, whispering and shifting his eyes to look at you. And, reluctantly but at the same time smiling, he kissed you fleetingly and left, James and Remus in tow.

Lily had closed the curtains tightly and crossed her arms over her chest, smirking a bit. "Y/N, take your hands off your stomach." Your eyes widened and she had stared at you, still smirking. But, slowly you did as told and moved the blanket and she could see it, "Y/N… when?" Your hand was on the little hill as you answered, "The day we came here." Lily rose an eyebrow, all serious now, "So you missed a day of school to shag Black?"

"It was before the day we went missing. I woke up too late to get up and by the time we had gotten out of the Forest-" Lily interrupted, "The Forest!? You shagged Sirius Black in the For-" You clamped your hand over her mouth, breathing deeply at the pain the waved over you, "Scream it from the rooftops, Lil, it's not like he was Wanted just a few months ago."

Your friend calmed and closed her eyes, counting to ten. "How did you know? Did the rest hear?" You whisper urgently, remembering James' eyes on you. "No. Call it mother's instinct," Lily muttered and widened her almond eyes, surprised that she had admitted that, "well, I guess…"

Then you had talked about the bump, and the baby it would bring. Girl or boy, and if it you have your E/C eyes or Sirius' dark curls.

And then the nurse came in and said you could leave. So you got up and put on the clothes Lily had brought, slowly. You closed the cloak over your stomach, hiding it sufficiently. And then you marched out, trying not to look as weak as you felt.

Of all the nights for it to be the full moon, tonight was one. Which, sucked because coming back from the hospital and having to Turn isn't the most pleasant thing. Sirius and James were gone, no one (though it was obvious Harry had been told) knew where. Everybody was in the Burrow now, since Grimmlaud Place was in Order meeting mode. Lupin couldn't go for obvious reasons. Lily had been told about you being a werewolf while your being captured, so she scolded you for not telling her, hugging you and saying to be careful.

You three ventured out, you tall enough to put both your arms around their shoulders. "So, since the sun is still not that close to setting, we wait?" "Yeah, I'm assuming," Remus grinned and leaned back, looking up at the sun near the horizon.

A patch of rocks in the woods near the Burrow was perfect, so you all sat, waiting. Lupin chuckled a bit, "This is the first time I'm Turning in a pretty long time with someone else here." Remus makes a sort of strangled noise and keeps quiet so you shrug, "I've always been alone." No both boys make the noise, identically, and laugh, making you laugh along.

"Well, let's see, talking about anything that isn't this will be awkward so," Lupin started and trailed off. "I'm going to tell you something that I've been thinking for a pretty long time," you continue, "being a werewolf means that you are royally bloody screwed already, we've established. But, it also helps in one way. It shows the people who truly, actually love you. Like Tonks for you, Lupin," you cock your chin at him and Remus smirks a bit as he murmurs, "and Sirius to you." You flush and cross your arms low over your stomach.

"Should we tell her how Padfoot acted while she was gone?" Remus questioned, tapping his chin. Lupin did the same and shrugged, smiling, "Why not." They both turned to her with their hazel eyes, "Padfoot cried," Remus continued, "for the first month, locked in that bloody room with Buckbeak," Lupin nodded, "the next month was the month of throwing everything breakable everywhere through the room," Remus laughed, "and the next was the depression month. He really did nothing." Both of them quieted, "And you can imagine us."

Remus spoke up first, "I was worrying everyday. Not as much as, you know, but you're like my sister, Y/N, so everyday it was like if someone touched me, I would look to see if it was you." Lupin looked downcast, "And for me… well… it was like with James and Lily. Like you had come back from the dead. Sirius had just died," his voice got raspier, "and you were gone like that. My first month was all of Sirius' months at once. And then I stopped, for Dora."

You closed your eyes, thinking about all the pain your disappearance, of your own months. The first month had been taunting, whispers, screeches, Bellatrix chanting, "I killed Sirius Black!". But the next month was torture, whippings and knife slashes, and staff hittings. The third was both, worse and worse. All that time you had curled into a ball, trying to protect your stomach, your child.

And the moon was ascending. "I'm going to go that way," you mutter and slowly stride deeper inside. Turning in the prison was its own torture. They would lock you in the basement, completely pitch black, and in the cold, you turned, crashing against the roof of the cramped space. Here it felt better more natural. If it could. So, weirdly, you had relief as you turned, howling with satisfaction.


	11. Hi

**Quick question to people who read the fanfiction, should I scrap this one and write another? SHOULD I?! Because I don't know if its good or…**


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